"My mom is great because she took me to Star Trek: The Experience."
This is one of the pages in the book that Michael made me for Mother's Day at his school. We did go there in 2008 in the last week it was in operation. Maddox and I had a great time there and I was really happy to see that he still remembered it.
Currently, Michael is doing well. He is making progress and he's stable. Other friends of mine who have schizophrenic children aren't faring so well. I wish we had the infrastructure to help all families who have children with severe mental illness.
Back to Michael. We went to the park last weekend. We went to a park on Saturday that was close to our house, and then another on Sunday after we ate out. Michael made appropriate choices and he was able to find another child to play with at the first park. That child gave him a can of sprite (there was a birthday party going on and the child was invited.) They played together for almost 2 hours and I was standing there just so happy that he has this ability now. He didn't have it even 6 months ago. Seeing his rapid progress at his amazing school is just, heartbreaking in the best way.
Now, if I can just get him to put his clothes away...
Friday, May 18, 2012
Shopping Guide to Last Minute Buying of Mother's Day Gifts
There are lots of people who shop for on the last minute in order to
get good deals regardless of the occasion. They disregard how great a
mad rush to the shopping center or how long time they have to wait in
order to get to the shelf or the cash register. They believe that last
minute shopping is the best way to in order to get something good.
Let's discuss a few important guidelines to help you shop for Mothers
Day gifts.
Last minute shopping for gifts for your mother for Mother's Day start when there is only around two weeks left until Mother's Day. Hence, your Mother's day shopping should start at least by the start of May. Those people who shop for a gift for their mother for Mother's Day on the same week when Mother's Day fall, they are most likely a forgetful child.
When talking about the things that you can give to your mother on Mother's Day, you should have a gift in mind prior to shopping. If you have a plan for a gift that is selling the hottest, then expect that they are most likely to go out of stock in the last week. It is very important to have a gift in mind so that when you see them on the market, you can purchase them instantly. Most of these good gifts is available in the first week of May. Thus, even if you do your shopping on the last minute shopping, you should have a clear idea on what to purchase. You might see the gift that you have in mind in an unlikely place, and you should be ready to purchase it. For example, I planned to give a vase to my mother last year because she is a vase collector. I found an old man selling 3 pieces of beautiful vases in different sizes along the street. When I saw it, I know they are the perfect gifts I can give to my mother. It was sold at a very reasonable price. When I gave it to my mom, it turns out that 2 of the vases are the ones she searched a long time to complete a collection.
When giving Mothers Day gifts, it is very important that it has a surprise factor. If your mom lives within the same city, then you can hand carry your gifts and visit her. Of course, this doesn't have anything to do with shopping. This is to check whether you give the right gift or not based on her reaction when she gets her gift.
Last minute shopping for gifts for your mother for Mother's Day start when there is only around two weeks left until Mother's Day. Hence, your Mother's day shopping should start at least by the start of May. Those people who shop for a gift for their mother for Mother's Day on the same week when Mother's Day fall, they are most likely a forgetful child.
When talking about the things that you can give to your mother on Mother's Day, you should have a gift in mind prior to shopping. If you have a plan for a gift that is selling the hottest, then expect that they are most likely to go out of stock in the last week. It is very important to have a gift in mind so that when you see them on the market, you can purchase them instantly. Most of these good gifts is available in the first week of May. Thus, even if you do your shopping on the last minute shopping, you should have a clear idea on what to purchase. You might see the gift that you have in mind in an unlikely place, and you should be ready to purchase it. For example, I planned to give a vase to my mother last year because she is a vase collector. I found an old man selling 3 pieces of beautiful vases in different sizes along the street. When I saw it, I know they are the perfect gifts I can give to my mother. It was sold at a very reasonable price. When I gave it to my mom, it turns out that 2 of the vases are the ones she searched a long time to complete a collection.
When giving Mothers Day gifts, it is very important that it has a surprise factor. If your mom lives within the same city, then you can hand carry your gifts and visit her. Of course, this doesn't have anything to do with shopping. This is to check whether you give the right gift or not based on her reaction when she gets her gift.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
History of Us
I mentioned in an earlier blog that I was asked to leave my grandparents' house when Michael was 2. This was a very hard transition for both Michael and myself. I'd lived with my grandparents since I was 13. Maddox's father was not involved in his life and he died before he ever really got a chance to know him. Maddox's fathers' family denies him to this day, despite the fact that I have offered to pay for DNA testing to prove that Maddox is actually related to them.
I moved into my first apartment with my 2 year old and I thought we were going to be okay. He was bright and he hated daycare but I assumed that he'd get used to it. He was biting other children regularly so I sought the help of the school district and early intervention. The school district believed he needed early intervention but they didn't want to pay for it so they waited until he was 3 and the school district themselves needed to pay for his care.
I also took him to his pediatrician to rule out any medical conditions that could be contributing to his biting, insomnia, and violence. His pediatrician decided he needed to be evaluated by an ENT because he had recurrent ear infections and enlarged tonsils. His doctor believed if those issues were taken care of then his other issues would be fixed. Michael had the surgery 2 months after he turned 3. His surgery was on a Friday.
The hospital discharged him 3 hours after surgery because of the risk of RSV and because he wouldn't calm down. He was in a psychotic state. I know that now, but at the time, I didn't have any idea what was going on with my son. He was talking about cats that were going to hurt him and how he wasn't ever taking his hospital gown off because it was protecting him. I assumed this was all just weird post-anesthetic mumblings. The entire way home I couldn't get him to stay in his carseat. I called the pediatrician after his ENT didn't return my calls. He said that this sometimes happens and to give him an age appropriate dose of benedryl to counteract the effects. It did not help. I called back and he said to try to give him some Sudafed (it was still on the market for children at this time since it was 5 years ago) to help with any congestion or pressure that might be on his ears, and to dry up any post nasal drip because that could be causing him pain since he had his tonsils removed. I gave him the dose and it still didn't help. A couple hours later I called him again and he said that it was safe to give him his prescription pain medication and ibuprofen as well.
After all of that medication he finally stopped screaming and fighting and wanted to eat crackers. I told him he wasn't supposed to have them because it could hurt his throat. He was desperate. I finally agreed to break up saltines in a bag and he could eat them with a spoon since they wouldn't have sharp edges. He ate it and then demanded to see his grandmother. I called her and told her everything that had happened. She said to bring him to her and she would care for him since I had to be back at work on Monday. I said that I didn't want to burden her but she said she would rather have him at her house. We went there and he ran around touching walls and objects. It was the first time I noticed that behavior. He never stopped doing it. When he was 7 he told me it was because he couldn't tell whether objects or walls were real unless he touched them. Upon reflection- he has done this before the surgery and I didn't notice it.
She and my grandfather were able to distract him and he fell asleep for a couple hours that night. I came back up there to see him and he was just as wild as he was the day before. He refused pain meds and said he was fine. I called the ped again. He said to keep the follow up with the ENT. My grandmother said that he wasn't sleeping any better after the surgery when he stayed the night with her and I agreed. He was only sleeping 1-3 hours in a 24 hour period. His biting and aggression were getting worse. When I took him to his ENT for a follow up he was shocked that Maddox wasn't behaving any better. He said it looked like a psychiatric issue and gave me a referral for a pediatric psychiatrist.
I agreed because I didn't think it could hurt. I didn't really think he was seriously mentally ill- I thought he was bright and misunderstood. He was tiny as a 3 year old and I thought he was just being bullied at daycare. He didn't sleep much at home and he was violent often, but he was also so little that it wasn't a big deal. I could keep him safe. I assumed he'd grow out of it. I knew that toddlers slept badly because of developmental milestones and I assumed that was the issue with Michael since his vocabulary was astounding.
How very wrong and naive I was.
I moved into my first apartment with my 2 year old and I thought we were going to be okay. He was bright and he hated daycare but I assumed that he'd get used to it. He was biting other children regularly so I sought the help of the school district and early intervention. The school district believed he needed early intervention but they didn't want to pay for it so they waited until he was 3 and the school district themselves needed to pay for his care.
I also took him to his pediatrician to rule out any medical conditions that could be contributing to his biting, insomnia, and violence. His pediatrician decided he needed to be evaluated by an ENT because he had recurrent ear infections and enlarged tonsils. His doctor believed if those issues were taken care of then his other issues would be fixed. Michael had the surgery 2 months after he turned 3. His surgery was on a Friday.
The hospital discharged him 3 hours after surgery because of the risk of RSV and because he wouldn't calm down. He was in a psychotic state. I know that now, but at the time, I didn't have any idea what was going on with my son. He was talking about cats that were going to hurt him and how he wasn't ever taking his hospital gown off because it was protecting him. I assumed this was all just weird post-anesthetic mumblings. The entire way home I couldn't get him to stay in his carseat. I called the pediatrician after his ENT didn't return my calls. He said that this sometimes happens and to give him an age appropriate dose of benedryl to counteract the effects. It did not help. I called back and he said to try to give him some Sudafed (it was still on the market for children at this time since it was 5 years ago) to help with any congestion or pressure that might be on his ears, and to dry up any post nasal drip because that could be causing him pain since he had his tonsils removed. I gave him the dose and it still didn't help. A couple hours later I called him again and he said that it was safe to give him his prescription pain medication and ibuprofen as well.
After all of that medication he finally stopped screaming and fighting and wanted to eat crackers. I told him he wasn't supposed to have them because it could hurt his throat. He was desperate. I finally agreed to break up saltines in a bag and he could eat them with a spoon since they wouldn't have sharp edges. He ate it and then demanded to see his grandmother. I called her and told her everything that had happened. She said to bring him to her and she would care for him since I had to be back at work on Monday. I said that I didn't want to burden her but she said she would rather have him at her house. We went there and he ran around touching walls and objects. It was the first time I noticed that behavior. He never stopped doing it. When he was 7 he told me it was because he couldn't tell whether objects or walls were real unless he touched them. Upon reflection- he has done this before the surgery and I didn't notice it.
She and my grandfather were able to distract him and he fell asleep for a couple hours that night. I came back up there to see him and he was just as wild as he was the day before. He refused pain meds and said he was fine. I called the ped again. He said to keep the follow up with the ENT. My grandmother said that he wasn't sleeping any better after the surgery when he stayed the night with her and I agreed. He was only sleeping 1-3 hours in a 24 hour period. His biting and aggression were getting worse. When I took him to his ENT for a follow up he was shocked that Maddox wasn't behaving any better. He said it looked like a psychiatric issue and gave me a referral for a pediatric psychiatrist.
I agreed because I didn't think it could hurt. I didn't really think he was seriously mentally ill- I thought he was bright and misunderstood. He was tiny as a 3 year old and I thought he was just being bullied at daycare. He didn't sleep much at home and he was violent often, but he was also so little that it wasn't a big deal. I could keep him safe. I assumed he'd grow out of it. I knew that toddlers slept badly because of developmental milestones and I assumed that was the issue with Michael since his vocabulary was astounding.
How very wrong and naive I was.
Monday, April 9, 2012
January First
I am a friend of the Schofields, who have a daughter named Jani who has Child Onset Schizophrenia. His book "January First" is being published in August. Please check it out. I'm going to be sharing more of our story in the following months. We have also been on Jani's mother's radio show "Bipolar Nation Radio" about how I could not get care for Michael at Kennedy Hospital when he needed inpatient treatment.
One thing I have noticed with parents of children with severe mental illness is that we are highly scrutinized, far more so than our counterparts who have neurotypical children. I have a second son now, who is completely and utterly normal. He also sleeps about 12-14 hours per night and takes a 2 hour nap per day. He is usually cheerful and happy. When I am out with my younger son, strangers often tell me what a wonderful mother I am and what a happy child he obviously is growing up to be.
On the other hand, when I am out with my 8 year old I get nasty glares from other parents when he begins to get upset about cats, crabs, or any other number of horrible things that he sees. If he says "LEAVE ME ALONE" to any of his hallucinations, he is badly behaved.
When I am out with both of my children- I get plenty of stares. One reason is that they look absolutely identical, except my younger son has beautiful blue eyes. We are of middle eastern descent so it's striking that he has blue eyes. Except their looks- they are polar opposites. Michael requires nearly constant stimulation and interaction while his brother is happy to play by himself. Michael often pushes his brother's stroller when we are out with a constant stream of encouragement from me. "Michael! You're such a good brother. You're making great choices. Your brother is lucky to have you." All the while, I can see him struggling to ignore his hallucinations which come from a place he calls "The Troll Bridge." His brother, on the other hand, is happily waving and saying hello to strangers. Despite Michael's violence in his early childhood and sometimes even now, he has never hurt his brother, nor does he show jealousy for him. He confidently says "My brother is luckier than I am because he has an awesome big brother who loves him a lot!" As sick as Maddox is, I would agree with his statement.
As difficult as he can be to parent, I deeply love and enjoy my older son. I wanted so badly for him to be okay. He is getting better as he gets older, but he is still schizophrenic. After he spent 6 weeks inpatient I didn't want to blog, or talk about him anymore because it was too painful to remember all the times I had to walk away from him in the hospital. Now, I have some distance from it and I can see how it did set him up to succeed in his school district that didn't believe he was severe enough to warrant a personal aide until they evaluated him inpatient. I still remain very angry that he was inpatient all that time and ultimately came home more unstable than when he went inpatient.
Since he has come home and he has a new psychiatrist, he has made such amazing progress. He is on a great medication regimen that helps keep him stable. He has a PRN for when his psychosis is too much to handle. He often asks for this medication, rather that an adult needing to offer it to him. I see him maturing everyday, even with his setbacks.
As I look back upon our life and how we moved halfway across the country I am happy. I am happy to be on the eastern seaboard, I am happy I live 10 miles away from my best friend, and I am happy to mother my sons. These are things I never thought I'd have. Our family is still in the midwest and we hope to see some of them this summer, but we're still really happy to be here. Here is home in a way the midwest never was for us.
One thing I have noticed with parents of children with severe mental illness is that we are highly scrutinized, far more so than our counterparts who have neurotypical children. I have a second son now, who is completely and utterly normal. He also sleeps about 12-14 hours per night and takes a 2 hour nap per day. He is usually cheerful and happy. When I am out with my younger son, strangers often tell me what a wonderful mother I am and what a happy child he obviously is growing up to be.
On the other hand, when I am out with my 8 year old I get nasty glares from other parents when he begins to get upset about cats, crabs, or any other number of horrible things that he sees. If he says "LEAVE ME ALONE" to any of his hallucinations, he is badly behaved.
When I am out with both of my children- I get plenty of stares. One reason is that they look absolutely identical, except my younger son has beautiful blue eyes. We are of middle eastern descent so it's striking that he has blue eyes. Except their looks- they are polar opposites. Michael requires nearly constant stimulation and interaction while his brother is happy to play by himself. Michael often pushes his brother's stroller when we are out with a constant stream of encouragement from me. "Michael! You're such a good brother. You're making great choices. Your brother is lucky to have you." All the while, I can see him struggling to ignore his hallucinations which come from a place he calls "The Troll Bridge." His brother, on the other hand, is happily waving and saying hello to strangers. Despite Michael's violence in his early childhood and sometimes even now, he has never hurt his brother, nor does he show jealousy for him. He confidently says "My brother is luckier than I am because he has an awesome big brother who loves him a lot!" As sick as Maddox is, I would agree with his statement.
As difficult as he can be to parent, I deeply love and enjoy my older son. I wanted so badly for him to be okay. He is getting better as he gets older, but he is still schizophrenic. After he spent 6 weeks inpatient I didn't want to blog, or talk about him anymore because it was too painful to remember all the times I had to walk away from him in the hospital. Now, I have some distance from it and I can see how it did set him up to succeed in his school district that didn't believe he was severe enough to warrant a personal aide until they evaluated him inpatient. I still remain very angry that he was inpatient all that time and ultimately came home more unstable than when he went inpatient.
Since he has come home and he has a new psychiatrist, he has made such amazing progress. He is on a great medication regimen that helps keep him stable. He has a PRN for when his psychosis is too much to handle. He often asks for this medication, rather that an adult needing to offer it to him. I see him maturing everyday, even with his setbacks.
As I look back upon our life and how we moved halfway across the country I am happy. I am happy to be on the eastern seaboard, I am happy I live 10 miles away from my best friend, and I am happy to mother my sons. These are things I never thought I'd have. Our family is still in the midwest and we hope to see some of them this summer, but we're still really happy to be here. Here is home in a way the midwest never was for us.
Different Accessories for Entertaining
Guest post written by Carolyn Branch
I think it's no secret that when most people entertain they do things a little differently than when it's just them in their home. Like when I'm entertaining and I want to impress people or just make everything nice for everyone, I'll pull out my good dishes and china. That's just how most people do. But there are the casual entertainment settings when you still want everything to look so cute but not make it look like you tried really hard. I have a whole other set of kitchen and serving stuff for that.
I have some serving dishes and stuff like that for things like that, but I wanted to do something a little extra for some casual living room entertainment. I was thinking lacquered serving trays. Lucky for me, lacquered trays are really in style and when I was looking online through some I saw info on vinyl siding replacement and knew that I could use that too. It's easy to forget about keeping the outside of your home nice looking for visitors, too.
I racked up in the clearance section on one of my favorite sites and found several trays that were just what I wanted at an even better price. Score! It's always nice when that happens.
I think it's no secret that when most people entertain they do things a little differently than when it's just them in their home. Like when I'm entertaining and I want to impress people or just make everything nice for everyone, I'll pull out my good dishes and china. That's just how most people do. But there are the casual entertainment settings when you still want everything to look so cute but not make it look like you tried really hard. I have a whole other set of kitchen and serving stuff for that.
I have some serving dishes and stuff like that for things like that, but I wanted to do something a little extra for some casual living room entertainment. I was thinking lacquered serving trays. Lucky for me, lacquered trays are really in style and when I was looking online through some I saw info on vinyl siding replacement and knew that I could use that too. It's easy to forget about keeping the outside of your home nice looking for visitors, too.
I racked up in the clearance section on one of my favorite sites and found several trays that were just what I wanted at an even better price. Score! It's always nice when that happens.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
The Hospital
My son spent 6 weeks inpatient because of his psychiatric illness. He's home and in a therapeutic school and he's doing well there- better than he did in the hospital. His psychiatrist wants him in residential, but I don't believe that is the best option for my son. He needs his family, especially me, and he has a wonderful little brother that would miss him terribly if he were gone.
He turned 8 recently and he got lots of gifts he really enjoyed such as cars, Thomas the Train trains, and a few other things. Overall, he's playing with his toys appropriately and making pretty great choices. His reports home from school are generally good. He's still going to have a long road ahead of him. I'll update more from toddlerhood onto middle childhood in the next few weeks, but I am considering writing a book about him. His story should be heard, as all children who have mental illness should have a voice.
He turned 8 recently and he got lots of gifts he really enjoyed such as cars, Thomas the Train trains, and a few other things. Overall, he's playing with his toys appropriately and making pretty great choices. His reports home from school are generally good. He's still going to have a long road ahead of him. I'll update more from toddlerhood onto middle childhood in the next few weeks, but I am considering writing a book about him. His story should be heard, as all children who have mental illness should have a voice.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Mac
So, when I'm online and not negotiating with my child to keep him quiet, I listen to my playlist. I have Vista as my operating system.
Trust me- I heard the boos from you all.
So my playlist is out of date. This isn't uncommon for me. So I go about updating. I give my computer permission to download. Then it wants permission to install. Then it needs it again. Then it needs to restart firefox.
Then it hits me: my computer thinks I'm a moron. I have decided I am fed up with PCs.
I really want a Mac.
Trust me- I heard the boos from you all.
So my playlist is out of date. This isn't uncommon for me. So I go about updating. I give my computer permission to download. Then it wants permission to install. Then it needs it again. Then it needs to restart firefox.
Then it hits me: my computer thinks I'm a moron. I have decided I am fed up with PCs.
I really want a Mac.
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